


Oddities

by Joyous32



Category: Death Note
Genre: Flashbacks, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-12-14
Packaged: 2018-09-13 02:44:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9102952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joyous32/pseuds/Joyous32
Summary: Near and Mello's pasts are revealed in a slightly different turn of events.





	1. Shoot

“Near.”

“Mello.”

“Which one of us is going to get Kira first?”

“The race is on.”

“Our destination is the same. I’ll be waiting for you when you get there.”

Once Mello left, Near turned back to his team. “I need someone to drive me somewhere.” He informed them.

“What?” Gevanni asked as Rester grunted and turned back to the computer.

“I have to meet Mello later tonight.” Near continued with his train set.

“Where?” Lidner asked curiously.

“I know where.”

“So that was his real purpose in coming here. A genius-deciphered booty call.” Gevanni griped.  

“Hm.”

“So was the Shinigami story true? Or was that the code?” Gevanni asked and Near rolled his eyes without turning.

“You think too hard about these things, Gevanni. We have a common place to meet that has always been known to the two of us. There was no code.”

“How did you know he wouldn’t really shoot?” Rester asked, changing the subject.

-

_“What are you doing out here?” Mello called, but Near didn’t turn from where he sat in the snow. He had his head tilted back to face the snow, but his eyes were shut as the snow fell. Mello gritted his teeth, but stepped over to take Near’s hand, tugging on it to grab the boy’s attention. Near’s surprise only showed in his eyes widening slightly more than usual, but he glanced up at their hands before looking up to see Mello. “What are you doing?” Mello repeated and Near looked back up to the snow falling. “You’re freezing. Let’s go inside.” Mello tugged on his hand once more, but Near was motionless. Another tug and Near stood to follow Mello back into the orphanage._

_Mello led Near to the bathroom, but in the doorway, Near stopped. “Come on. You should take a shower to warm up. Plus, you smell.” Mello explained but Near didn’t move. Mello searched the boy’s eyes for some sign of discomfort, but there was nothing there. “Roger’s going to be really upset if you get a cold and he’ll probably find some way to blame me. Now, come on.” Mello snapped, but Near just turned back toward his room._

_Mello grunted and continued into the bathroom, starting the shower and making sure it was warm before heading back to see Near sitting on the floor, twirling his hair around his finger. “The shower’s warm. Just go in to warm up. I’ll stay here to give you privacy.” Mello offered, trying to maintain his façade of patience._

_Finally, Mello lurched toward the boy and picked him up, but Near became as limp as a cat. Still, he barely weighed as much as a cat, so this was no trouble for Mello. Once Mello reached the doorway of the bathroom, Near let out a squeak and began fidgeting, beating his fists against Mello’s chest. “Near! Near!” Mello had to put the boy down, letting him stand on his own, but Near collapsed into a crouch and started to crawl away again._

_Mello stopped him in his path and Near sat back in his crouch, not looking up to Mello as he furiously played with his hair, ever expressionless. Mello seriously considered just leaving the boy, but knew that Near would probably remain in the doorway to his bathroom with the shower running all night long. Mello glanced over to see the boy’s fingers turning blue. “What, do you_ want _to die?” Mello asked and the twirling stopped for a millisecond, long enough for Mello to notice, but not long enough that anyone else in the world would. “That’s what it is, huh?” Mello lowered his voice and Near closed his eyes. “Well, I’m not going to let you.” Mello snapped and Near actually jumped. “Do you want me to come with you? Because I’m not dropping this. You need to shower. You smell and you’re going to freeze out here. You probably haven’t even taken one since you got here, huh?” Mello continued and took Near’s hand to lift him back up again. Near did as was instructed and slowly followed Mello back over to the bathroom._

_Finally, they entered the bathroom and Near removed his clothes, stepping under the running water. He continued to stare Mello down, making Mello squirm slightly under the naked boy’s gaze. Then Near turned his face up to the water as he had done with the snow. He squeezed his eyes shut, but snapped his head over when he heard Mello’s hand against the door._

_“Woah, I’m not going anywhere. Why are you so jumpy?" Mello held his hands up in surrender as Near seemed to question whether or not he should follow Mello. Mello watched the boy mouth something about a 'box' as his eyes furiously traced the room and Mello raised an eyebrow. “I’m grabbing the towel.” Mello explained, showing the towel from where it hung on the other side of the door._

_When Mello helped Near out of the shower, the boy was shaking. At first, Mello thought that the shower hadn’t been enough to warm the boy, but then Near wrapped his arms around Mello and Mello could feel his racing heartbeat against his own. “It’s okay, you know? You’re safe here.” Mello promised, lifting the towel slightly to dry Near’s hair. Near didn’t let go until Mello led him out of the bathroom and finally, Near’s heart slowed to a steady beat._

-

“We have a past.” Near finally answered.

“Mello still cares for you.” Lidner offered, but Near spoke over her.

“Mello is insecure. And emotional. But that makes him dangerous.”

“But not to you.” Rester suggested.

“All the more to me. I can’t predict him. He is the one puzzle I can’t solve.” Gevanni rolled his eyes at the boy’s arrogance.

“You still care for him.” Lidner inputted once more.

“I like puzzles.” Near whispered.


	2. Puzzles

“Near, what exactly is the point of this meeting?” Rester asked as he drove.

“Gevanni had an idea.” Near grunted and turned to see what Rester’s response would be. There wasn’t one.

“I hate to assume.” Rester answered instead and Near turned toward the passenger window, staring out as he twirled his hair around his finger.

“To visit an old friend.” Near finally offered.

“And perhaps persuade him to help?” Rester suggested softly and Near sighed.

“He doesn’t want my help.” Near explained to Rester, who raised an eyebrow.

“We need his, though.” Rester commented and Near made a noncommittal noise. “But you’re both too stubborn to admit this to the other.” Near’s eyes flickered.

When they reached the apartment, Rester placed his hand on Near’s arm. Near stared at the hand. “Are you sure you don’t want me to come up with you?”

“I’m safe.”

“How can you be sure?”

-

_“What’s wrong with you, huh? What is wrong with you!” Mello shook Near by the collar of his shirt. Once again, Near had said something that had offended Mello. It seemed so easy these days—to the point where Near wasn’t even sure what he had said._

_Breathing deeply, Near reached up to grab Mello’s cheeks, stilling the boy and resting their foreheads together. As Near shut his eyes, Mello stared in confusion, but then pushed Near away in disgust. “Seriously? I thought you were better than that, Near.”_

_“Better than you?” Near asked and Mello rolled his eyes in disgust, watching the boy somehow maintain his dignity where he curled up on the floor._

_“You’re not better than me.”_

_“I know.” Near furiously twirled his hair around his finger._

_“Then don’t question it!”_

_“I don’t.” Near finished and Mello looked back at him in confusion. For once, he saw some form of desperate irritation in Near’s eyes. “Why would you believe that I was unfeeling toward you when I treat you with the same care that you treat me?”_

_“What are you implying?”_

_“I’m not implying anything. I’m asking why I can’t like you when you like me.”_

_“I’m not gay.”_

_“Reason proves otherwise.”_

_“I’m not asking for one of your statistics, Near, or your reports! Just go away!” Mello shouted and Near narrowed his eyes in confusion, making Mello blink twice. But still, the younger boy left, wondering what puzzle Mello had created for him now._

-

“Like I’ve said. We have a past. Mello wouldn’t really hurt me. He just likes to pretend.” Near stepped out of the car. “Thank you for the ride.”

“I’m waiting here, Near.” Rester raised an eyebrow and watched Near’s emotionless eyes flicker through this thought.

“Okay. It may be a while.” He responded and Rester sighed, not really wanting to know more as he drove away. Near smiled quickly and headed up the stairs.

When Near knocked the knock that the boys had once perfected at Wammy’s, Mello answered and frowned. “You’re not Matt.”

“Sorry to disappoint.”

“No you’re not.” Mello narrowed his eyes and Near tilted his head, watching Mello. “Why are you here?”

“Can I come in?” Near asked and Mello stared as emotionlessly as possible, but he could never manage the mask that Near wore. He stepped aside to let the smaller boy in. “How much longer until Matt returns?” Near asked as he looked around, seeing the video games and junk food, and using that as proof that Matt was living here too.

“I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do.” Near replied too quickly and Mello’s head snapped around to glare at him. “But I won’t question it further.” Near finished, twirling his hair around his finger when he saw the other boy’s anger.

“Why are you here, Near?” Mello grumbled and Near sat on the couch.

“How are you?” Near asked instead and Mello sneered.

“How do you think I am?”

“Well, seeing as you just dismantled my team from around me, but somehow left me there in the mix, I would say, not well. Mentally unstable, at least.” Near gave a little shudder that wouldn’t have been noticed by the untrained eye. Untrained in recognizing Near’s emotions, at least.

“Aren’t we all?” Mello rolled his eyes as he looked outside for the car that must be waiting for Near.

“The mafia, Mello?” Near raised an eyebrow and Mello had to smirk back at him.

“You like puzzles.”

“Hmm.” Near grunted and Mello sighed, stepping forward as Near braced for some form of impact that ended up being a hug. 

“I’ve missed you.” Mello whispered and Near rested his chin against Mello’s shoulder as he slowly wrapped his arms around the older boy.

“I wish that would never again be the case.” Near commented and Mello pulled away to give him a look. “I wish…” Near started again and inhaled sharply. “I wish you wouldn’t leave so that we wouldn’t have to miss each other anymore.” He offered in explanation and Mello bit his lip before moving his hands to Near’s cheeks and kissing him.

Near practically melted in his arms, running his fingers through Mello’s hair as he returned the kisses. “I swear if you’re bugged—” Mello began, but Near nipped at his neck and Mello groaned.

“No case. This isn’t…isn’t about the case.” Near grumbled as he nuzzled against Mello.

“So?” Mello asked, tracing his fingers down Near’s spine.

“So what?” Near shivered.

“Why are you here, Near? Say it.” Mello demanded, standing so that Near would have to follow. Near did, but Mello clasped his hands around the boy’s wrists and held him a lip’s distance away, just close enough to taunt the boy.

“I missed you.” Near rushed and Mello kissed him once more.

“Not so hard to say, huh?” Mello grunted and Near groaned. “You haven’t grown at all.” Mello commented as he backed Near into the bedroom, continuing to kiss the boy.

“Yes, I have. You just grow faster and—” Mello cut him off, but Near still managed to mumble, “more.” Mello groaned, but pushed Near to the bed. At the last second, Near twisted so that Mello would fall first and Mello barked out a laugh, remembering that Near wasn’t one to lay on his back. Once they had both fallen onto the bed, Mello easily flipped them back over, holding Near’s arms down beside his head as Mello used his own body weight to hold the boy down. He pecked at Near’s lips again and again, giving the façade of gentleness when in reality, he was in complete control.


	3. Orphanned Orphan

A little while later, Near rested against Mello bodily as Mello held him close. Mello could feel a level of relaxation coursing through Near’s veins that probably hadn’t been there in years—if ever. Eventually, Mello sighed and Near scrambled up, sitting beside Mello wrapped in blankets as he twirled his hair.

“You know they all still want me dead.” Mello commented.

“Who?” Near didn’t make eye contact, but stared at Mello’s chest. Which Mello was fine with.

“Your team.”

“Why?”

“Because I killed the other members of your team, Near.” Mello sighed, remembering all too easily Near’s lack of understanding of emotional responses.

“Lidner doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Lidner’s more like you than me.” Mello remarked and Near stopped from smiling at this epiphany. No wonder Mello liked her. 

“Hm. Well, they also understand that we need you to help us find Kira. They’ll wait until after that fact, surely.” Near explained as he wrapped his arms around Mello again, resting his cheek against Mello’s chest once more.

“And then?”

“Then what?”

“You’ll just let them kill me?” Mello asked and Near placed his chin on Mello’s chest to glance up at him and Mello smirked down, raising an eyebrow. “No. You may deny your emotional side, but you can’t deny what you feel for me.”

“You are my weakness.” Near nuzzled against him and Mello ran his fingers through the boy’s hair.

“You won’t let them kill me.”

“Never.” Near claimed. “Of course, if you helped us—” Mello scoffed and pushed Near off of him as he sat up.

“Is that what this was about?” Mello snapped as he ruffled his own hair.

“Never.” Near repeated and Mello glared at him. Mello was well aware that Near could lie easily when he saw it fit to help him achieve his goals. “Honestly, Mello, is that all you think of me?” Near finished and Mello sighed, knowing that Near wouldn’t put too much effort in proving a lie.

“I don’t need your help, Near.” Mello determined, pulling his shirt on and Near stared.

“Hasn’t it ever crossed your mind that I might need yours?” Near suggested and Mello paused.

“I don’t want to be your second in command.”

“You wouldn’t be. I’ve never wanted to be better than you, Mello; that was your battle.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Yes, when I was ten, maybe.” Near gave him an unimpressed look as much as one could without actually showing any expression. “You gave me a whole lot of attention when I provoked you.”

-

_Near looked over to see Mello sitting under a tree. It had been several days since Mello had been out and about, but Near had just thought the boy was sick. Normally, he would be under the tree with friends or out playing games, but this time, it was just him. Near inched a bit closer to find that there was no expression on Mello’s face and Near’s heart stopped._

_He stormed into Roger’s office and sat down on the floor, twirling his hair around his finger as he stared at the desk. Roger soon looked over his glasses at the boy and raised an eyebrow. “What’s the matter, Near?” He called and Near inhaled sharply. He was still getting used to being spoken to so freely. To speaking so freely._

_“What’s wrong with Mello?” Near asked in return._

_“Mello just got bad news.” Near looked up and thought this through. There hadn’t been any recent tests, so it wasn’t a bad grade. L hadn’t been around recently, so there was no chance of him claiming a successor that wasn’t Mello. Had Mello’s parents not come for a scheduled visit? He was one of the few children with parents still alive—just brilliant enough that L recruited him anyway. Of course, a rescheduled visit would hardly cause Mello to clam up, so it must be…_

_Near stood abruptly, scuttled out of the room, and back outside, where he approached Mello’s tree.  When Near was a foot away, he dropped into his normal seated pose and stared at Mello. Mello didn’t look up from where he stared at his hands._

_Near lurched forward to place his hands on Mello’s, glancing up at him from under his hair. “I know what happened. And I’m sorry.” He claimed and Mello turned slightly to roll his eyes at the boy._

_“You don’t know anything.” Mello claimed and Near couldn’t hear the normal spite or anger._

_“They died.” Near informed him as if Mello didn’t already know. Mello sighed._

_“Someone told you.” There was a flame, Near heard._

_“No, I figured it out on my own.” Near sat up straighter and looked Mello plain in the eye._

_“I bet I’ve figured out more about you on my own.” Mello scoffed and Near smiled cheekily._

_“Oh yeah?”_

_“Yeah.”_

_It was that day that Near learned that Mello was more like a robot than he who was professed to be one. When Mello's emotions ran dry, he broke and remained expressionless. But Near knew how to kick start him.  
_

-

“You were a brat.” Mello played with his own hair as he stared in the mirror, surprised to see Near sitting so still behind him on the bed.

“And you were a spoiled one.” Near replied.

“You can’t deny that you like our little games.”

“'Who can solve the Kira puzzle first?'” Near suggested as he stared down at the bed and buttoned up his shirt. “At least when we were little, we strengthened each other with our arguments. Got closer to our goal by proving the other wrong. Now, we’re not close enough to do even that.”

“Close enough for what, really? Sex?”

“That too.” Near shrugged thoughtlessly. Once upon a time, Mello had thought that Near would blush wildly at the idea of sex, but in reality, he was just as emotionless as ever. When Mello had asked him about it, Near had simply replied, _“Sex is a thing that happens. Nothing to be ashamed of.”_ Since then, Near had learned that it was a great way to get people to back off because they rarely wanted to hear about it—especially from him.

“Go home, Near.” Mello sighed. “I’m going to prove that I don’t need your help. That I can do this on my own.”

“Haven’t you already?” Near whispered.

“And maybe then, when we’ve…” Mello didn’t finished, but they both understood. When they had both gotten their heads down out of the clouds, when they came to realize that they missed one another. Only they could they work together. Unless they were too late.


	4. Files

“Back again? You can put the gun down.” Lidner claimed when she entered her apartment to see Mello pointing a gun at her again.

“I trust that Near’s removed the bugs?”

“I don’t.” Lidner shrugged and entered her kitchen. Mello didn’t follow, but skulked around the apartment for a little while longer until he determined that there were no bugs or that he just didn’t care anymore.

When he entered the kitchen again, Lidner was eating soup, waiting for him. “And you trust me?” Mello continued the conversation.

“You’re more predictable.” Lidner raised an eyebrow. “Anyway, if you have Near’s trust enough that he’ll sleep with you, you’ve gained mine.”

“We didn’t—”

“There’s no denying it. He didn’t come home with valuable information and he was more relaxed than we’ve ever seen him.”

“What have you guys been doing to him?” Mello grumbled under his breath.

“My point is we know what he was doing with you.”

“No naïve assumptions of Near’s virginity?”

“Please. How early did you corrupt him? He may try to hide it, but he’s still a hormonal child.”

“He’s a twenty one year old adult.” Mello raised his eyebrows at her.

“Legally, yes, mentally…he still plays with action figures and train sets.” Lidner pointed her spoon at Mello.

“Still. Not…make me feel pedophilic.” Mello mumbled. 

“And now, there’s no doubt of what you were doing.” Lidner gave him an exasperated glance. 

“Near can trust me for a vastly different reason than you ever could.”

“Yes, I’m aware of my lack of a chance with you because you are gay.”

“Bi!” He glared, but Lidner didn't even look up as she shrugged. 

“Still not interested and still not the point.”

“The only reason I didn’t kill you is because I don’t know your real name.” Mello cocked his gun once more. “Tell me what Near’s found out so far.”

“You could just ask him. He’s willing to cooperate.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not.”

“I’ve noticed. Doesn’t that put him on the higher ground?” Lidner smirked as Mello sneered.

“He’s got the maturity level and the mind of a child. Using his childish games to try to solve the puzzle.”

“Well, he’s done it before.” Lidner shrugged.

“You think?” Mello smirked and Lidner tilted her head slightly.

 “He gave us his file.” Lidner remarked, looking the boy over.

-

  _She remembered Near sliding the manila envelope over to the rest of the team as they stared in confusion_. _“My file.” When Near noticed the silence, he glanced over to them. “I baffle everyone. I figured I’d just save you the search.” He explained and waited ten seconds. When there was still no response, he gave them the biggest smile he could muster for encouragement._

-

Mello raised an eyebrow, using the gun to scratch his head, which Lidner thought was a bold move. “What was in it? The box or the mafia?”

“What?” Lidner raised her eyebrows in surprise and Mello chuckled quietly.

“That’s not all the information on him. He gave you that to appease your curiosity so that you wouldn’t go looking and find the rest of it.” Mello raised a condescending eyebrow and Lidner’s eyes narrowed.

“What’s the rest of it?”

“His story to tell, or your problem to solve. He’s got the file on hand and if you find it, he’ll be impressed.” Mello rolled his eyes. “Now, tell me.”

“Okay, where do I start?” Lidner looked him in the eye to show her sincerity, but Mello just narrowed his in confusion.

“Why so willing?”

“Together, you two can solve this case. Obviously, that’s not going to happen physically, so I’ll combine your minds in any way I can. It seems like you’re more a man of action than Near is anyway, so I see no fault in this path of action.”

“You just want the case solved?” Mello reiterated with an eyebrow raised. 

“Do you think I care about your and Near’s childish pig-tail pulling? Yes, of course that’s all I want.” Lidner smirked when Mello’s glare sharpened.


	5. Near Sighted

“Lidner, it seems you have found the remains of my file.” Near commented and Lidner watched him curiously. There was no emotion betrayed in his voice or face.

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, you may as well share it with the others.” Near shrugged and motioned for her to speak. She hesitated, looking from Near, to the men, and back again. “Go ahead. I’d like to hear how you read my story.” He curled up as if waiting to be read a bedtime story and Lidner shuddered, but did as she was told.

“Near’s parents died shortly after he was born and he was raised by the mafia. They didn’t feed him properly and beat him when he spoke out of turn, so they never really noticed his true brilliance.”

“Mello worked with the same people who ruined Near’s childhood?” Gevanni asked, his lip curling.

“Mello likes to taunt me. I should have realized this connection before I did. My emotions blinded me.” Near explained and they all stared for a moment, wondering who had given Near the script that he seemed to have just recited from. “Continue.” Near nodded to Lidner. 

“Once, they sent a box to L with Near inside. It was a small box, just enough room for Near and his handgun. They wanted Near to kill L when he got the chance, but L never opened the box. Still, they accounted for that and cut a hole in the box for Near to shoot through. Near never shot L, though. Instead, they eventually found Near, ten days later, and took him to Wammy’s House, the orphanage. That was where the doctors diagnosed him with malnourishment, determining that to be the cause of his small frame, and trauma as the cause of his temporary reticence.” Lidner finished and couldn’t bring herself to look away from Near. Only those in the room would ever identify the look on his face as one of terror.

“Are you oka—”

-

_“My subconscious appears to have blocked out most of the memories of my time in that box. I remember the two holes, one for me to see through and one for me to shoot through. I remember dropping the gun and then looking up to see—” Near stopped as if that was the end of it._

_“To see?” Mello pressed._

_“Someone. I don’t remember who.”_

_“It was Wateri, wasn’t it?” Mello continued._

_“That makes sense. But I don’t remember it.” Near explained._

_“So you’ve shot a gun before?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Did you kill anyone?”_

_“No. I’ve never hit my target.”_

_“What?”_

_“I’m near-sighted. Where did you think the name ‘Near’ came from?”_

_“Then why put you in that box?”_

_“I’m small. And I was dispensable.”_

_“But if you can’t see—”_

_“They suspected that L would eventually come close enough for me to hit. And the hole for my eye contained an eyeglass.”_

_“That’s why you don’t look at people.”_

_“Hm.”_

_“You can’t see them unless they’re up close anyway.”_

-

“Yes.” Near interrupted Rester. “Any other questions?” They all stood in shocked silence. “I assure you that nothing from my past will distort my view of this case or my ability to solve it. I hope that you haven’t just heard anything that will cause you to doubt me.”

“Never.” Rester grumbled.

“No.” Gevanni whispered beneath him.

“Good. Back to work, then.” Near turned back to his train set. “Oh, and Lidner? Tell Mello I look forward to seeing him again.”


	6. First Words

“Do you live on my couch now?” Lidner asked when she returned home to see Mello eating popcorn as he clicked through the TV channels.

“No, I live somewhere else. However, I also knew I’d find you here.”

“I could never guess how you came to that conclusion.” Lidner grumbled as she entered the kitchen once more. “I guess you should know that I found Near’s files.”

“Hm.” Mello grunted and Lidner rolled her eyes, tired of hearing that from Near all day long.

“And he says he looks forward to meeting you again.” Lidner opened her fridge to see half of the bottles of coke missing.

“What?” Mello’s head snapped around to glare at her. “You didn’t tell him I was here—?” He warned, turning off the TV as he stood.

“No, he worked it out himself. Really, are you that surprised?” Lidner asked and heated up some noodles.

“Surprised that he made it known that he knows I’m still here.” Mello grumbled out as he scraped a chair across the kitchen floor.

“Why?” Lidner raised an eyebrow.

“He still expects my help.” Mello brainstormed, ignoring her as the microwave beeped at them.

“He wants it. Why not give it?” Lidner asked. “You get along, don’t you? When you try?” Lidner pointedly did not give Mello any of her noodles as she sat across from him at the kitchen table.

“Socially, yes. Occupationally, no.” Mello explained, tracing the wood grain in the table.

“That’s stupid.” Lidner commented and he looked up to scowl.

“Not really. You know what his first words were? When he turned up at Wammy’s?”

“He didn’t talk for a while, right?” Lidner asked through a mouthful of noodles.

“Basically.”

-

_“You’re wrong.” A voice claimed and they all stopped to see where it came from. It came from the small boy. The boy that L had informed them was named Nate, but had himself informed them on paper that his name was Near._

_“Did Near just speak?” A classmate asked._

_“I didn’t know he could.” Mello griped._

_“What was that, Near?” The teacher requested and Near opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it when he saw Mello glaring at him. He gulped._

_“Mello…was wrong.” Near went on to explain the math problem in detail with a well spoken, though unused voice._

_After class, Mello stepped over to the small boy who was playing with a puzzle. “I didn’t know you could speak.” Mello claimed and Near didn’t look up._

_“You were being ridiculous.” Near answered quietly._

_“I was joking.” Mello defended himself and sat down to try to look Near in the eye. Near didn’t look up._

_“No, you weren’t. You weren’t paying attention, so you got the answer wrong. Of course, you would have known the answer if you were listening.” Near responded and Mello grunted, standing back up to tower over Near._

_“You aren’t smarter than me, Near.” Mello snapped and stormed off._

_“Hm.” Near thought to himself, but continued his puzzle._

-

When Mello finished explaining, Lidner sighed, rolling her eyes. “Don’t you two ever grow up?”

“No.” Mello stared at her food longingly.

“Is that what this is? Some continuation of your childhood grudge against him?” Lidner refused to decipher his gaze, no matter how obvious it was.

“Well, yes.” Mello gave her a look that questioned her line of questioning.

“He wants your help, Mello. He’s willing to see past everything in your past. Don’t let your pride get in the way of solving a major case. Or in the way of saving so many lives.”

“Can I have some noodles?”

“You break into my house, threaten me multiple times and expect food?”

“I could threaten you again if it would help.” Mello shrugged, folding his arms over his chest, but Lidner didn’t cave.

“Either go home, or go to Near. He misses you.” She reminded him.

“He was just with me.” Mello narrowed his eyes in confusion.

“You miss him too.” Lidner smirked.

“Shut up.” Mello grumbled.


	7. Break

The alarm went off to inform them that the building had been breached. Near glanced over to Gevanni, who groaned. "It's Mello and he has a gun."

"Mello always has a gun." Lidner commented without looking up from her work. 

"Let him come." Near determined as he sat among a mess of papers on the floor. Some had doodles on them, as if his mind and hand were disconnected in their focus.

"He has a gun, Near." Gevanni repeated.

"So do you. You can hide if you wish, Gevanni." Near offered and the man gritted his teeth, but remained, gun in hand to guard the boy.

Near did nothing to stop Gevanni, but when Mello's head appeared in the doorway, Gevanni's gun raised.

"Do _not_ shoot him!" Near snapped, rising to step in front of Gevanni's gun.

-

_Mello grinned like an idiot when he realized he got a perfect score on the latest test. He went to show Near, but saw Near’s grade before he could show the boy his own. Near had also gotten a perfect score, but he managed to get the extra credit too. Mello should have done the extra credit, but had found himself comforting Matt after another so-called painful break up with Linda._

_Silently, Mello fumed as he stood in Near’s room. Then, Near turned from where he was reading at his desk, facing the window. “Oh, Mello. Is that your test?” Near glanced at the paper in Mello’s hand and Mello crumbled it up. “Not well then?” Near answered his own silent question._

_“I did fine.” Mello gritted his teeth as he stared at Near, who stared back in expressionless confusion._

_“That’s good.” Near commented, waiting for Mello’s reason to be angry to come to light._

_“You did better.” Mello finished and Near hesitated. He had thought that they were passed this childish feud. They were physically too close to be socially so apart purely over Mello’s jealousy._

_“Okay.” Near finally commented._

_“Okay?” Mello snapped and Near paused to think of the best response. He shrugged._

_“Are you happy for me too?” Near suggested and Mello’s face just turned brighter red. Near sighed silently as Mello exploded._

_“Why can’t I ever do better than you?” Mello barked and Near actually winced away from him._

_“Why do you have to?”_

_“Because I’m just as good as you.”_

_“Which everyone knows. Who are you trying to convince, Mello?” Near spurred him on._

_“I don’t know. Not everybody knows that, anyway.”_

_“Well—”_

_“Don’t! Don’t give me the logistics of the situation. I know not everyone in the world knows.” Mello leaned against the doorframe and rested his face in his hand. “I mean not everyone here. They still look at me like I’m second best.” Mello explained and once again, knew what Near’s answer would be before the boy even spoke._

_“I think you’re imagining it.” Near claimed as Mello mouthed the sentence. Near clamped his mouth shut._

_“People keep—No! No, just because you’re oblivious to social cues doesn’t mean that I’m imagining it. You just don’t realize. Of course, what would there be for you to realize?”_

_“You don’t think I would notice if people talked badly about someone I cared about?”_

_“You don’t care.” Mello sneered and Near gulped._

_“You don’t get to tell me what I feel.”_

_“Why not? You didn’t seem to be hesitant to tell me what I felt.”_

_“Well, it was true.”_

_“And this isn’t?”_

_“No!” Near snapped and Mello blinked in surprise. Near sighed and forced himself to settle back down in his seat. “No.” He repeated._

_“I don’t know why I bother with you.” Mello grunted and Near narrowed his eyes._

_“What?”_

_“I don’t know why I ever cared!” Mello yelled and Near’s jaw clenched tightly. They stared at one another until Mello groaned and stalked from Near’s bedroom. Unbeknownst to them, it would be the last time he entered that threshold._

-

"I never thought it would be so easy to get you in front of a gun, Near." Mello claimed as Near stared Gevanni down from the wrong end of the gun. Gevanni dropped his gun from his boss's face, turning beet red.

Near turned to face Mello. "Hello, Mello."

"Near." Mello grunted back folding his arms over his chest. “I’m not going to help you. I’m leaving, in fact.” He waited for Near to respond. He didn’t. Instead, Near stared, in turn waiting for Mello to make his point.

“Okay.” Near finally answered to speed along the conversation. He sat back down and started drawing again.

“That’s all you have to say?”

“What more were you expecting?” Near asked and Mello groaned.

“You knew this whole time that Lidner was housing me and you did nothing.” Mello changed the subject.

“The situation was under control.”

“I was under control, you mean?”

“You were predictable, Mello. I like it better when you’re not.” Near commented and Mello hissed as he turned to look around the room. He stalked over to see the papers that Near had sprawled out around him.

“Just another one of your games, huh, Near?” Mello snapped after a few seconds. “Something to amuse you?”

“What else is love?” Near asked and Mello blushed, looking to each face in the room to see that none were watching them anymore. They were more concerned with how Mello got in so easily. Again. He knelt down in front of Near and stopped Near’s hand from where it drew.

“You don’t love me.” Mello spat under his breath.

“I guess you would know.” For the first time in a long time, Near’s expression demonstrated completely what he thought. His eyes were widened slightly, but his lips remained turned down as they quivered. Then it was gone before his team even looked over again.

“Since you don’t care, I’ll be on my way.” Mello spun around dramatically and left the room. The rest of the team looked up, and Lidner rolled her eyes. She stalked out behind him while the men returned to their work.

Near's marker ripped through the paper. 


	8. New Concepts

“Are you an idiot?” Lidner asked when she caught up with Mello on the street. He glanced back at her as if wondering how she dared speak to him like so. She kept going. “Of course he loves you. Or at least, this is his form of love. He loves all us, but he doesn’t let us touch him. You’re something special to him and you know it. You’ve known him longest, so you have to realize what you are to him.”

“You think he’s capable of love?” Mello gritted his teeth and Lidner raised an eyebrow at him.

“Don’t be so dramatic. He’s still a hormonal boy, remember? He was really shaken up when you killed the people around him. Those people he loved.”

“They’re like servants to him.” Lidner threw her arms in the air as Mello watched with a glare.

“No, they’re like his toys. Every single one is a piece that fits together to make something work and that’s how he likes them. You broke his ultimate toy and he’s no sociopath, so he’s aware of the people affected by those deaths. He’s hurt by them and he’s hurt by the fact that you tried to hurt him. It’s you who didn’t act human, you sociopath.” She cursed. “I don’t know what he sees in you.”

“It’s not for you to see.” Mello stepped closer to the building, leaning up against it.  “I don’t want to be his toy.”

“Then show him you’re more. He already knows it. He discusses things with you rather than informs you of things. That already shows he’s got you on an equal playing field, no?” Lidner's hand twitched. 

“Since when do you even care?” Mello glared at the floor. 

“Since there are people dying because you’re being an overly dramatic baby!” Lidner snapped back and Mello practically growled. “Get your butt in there and fix the problem, Mello! You know he’s too afraid to.”

“He doesn’t know how.”

“Exactly.”

“One problem only I can fix.” Mello smiled to himself and Lidner rolled her eyes as she cursed, following him back into the building.

_-_

_Matt was mad at Mello again. Something about losing his game boy. Of course, Mello knew where it was, but he didn’t tell Matt—he let him wallow in his anger for a little while longer since he doubted Mello so._

_Instead Mello was watching Near from where he sat beside the boy. Near was staring intently at a new puzzle. Mello wondered slightly how Near knew what the picture even was supposed to be, but then figured that Near probably didn’t actually care. He put the pieces where they fit regardless of what sense it made._

_Mello sighed as he dozed, watching Near’s fingers. He remembered them being warm as they touched his face, which was in direct contrast to Matt’s cold fingers, losing circulation due to the excess strain of a video game in his hands._

_“What are you doing, Mello?” Near asked randomly and Mello blinked. Near hadn’t moved a piece to its place in quite some time, so he wondered what right Near had to ask._

_“Matt’s upset with me, so I’m sitting with you.” Mello determined and Near glanced at him from under his hair, but didn’t turn his head from the puzzle._

_“That is a problem easily fixed.” Near commented._

_“What?”_

_“You have other friends. And you don’t like me, as you have so adamantly insisted. Why are you sitting with me?”_

_“’Cause you’re quiet. Now be quiet.” Mello snapped and Near sighed. “Why? Do you really like me?” Mello asked after a few more seconds and Near gave slight nod of his head._

_“I’ve already told you.”_

_“Not so specifically.”_

_“You don’t need the specifics.” Near reminded him and Mello sat up, creeping closer to Near, but Near didn’t look up. Mello groaned, but threw himself over Near’s puzzle, facing the boy and pulling him down by his shirt collar to join their lips. Near was still, not even pulling away. Soon, Mello’s neck got tired, so he rested his head against the puzzle once more and stared up at Near, who finally had a red tint to his face. Near stared back in the expressionless confusion Mello alone could see._

_“There. Now you can’t ignore me.” Mello determined after a few more seconds of silence. Near leaned down, closer to Mello to capture his lips once more and Mello’s heart jumped at the feeling of reciprocity. Then Near pulled away and stared again as Mello scrambled up to sit beside the boy._

_“That was nice.” Near commented._

_“Is that a new concept for you?” Mello raised an eyebrow and Near stared him down, seeming to seriously consider this._

_“Hm.” Near finally shrugged and turned back to his puzzle as though nothing had happened. Mello smirked cheekily, happy to have left the boy speechless._

_-_

Mello stormed back into the room and sat down beside Near, who looked over at him. When Near did, Mello grabbed his chin and kissed him. Near kissed back. Mello paused in surprise because Near kissed back. When Mello finally pulled away, he didn’t pull back more than an inch from Near’s face. Near opened his eyes, but stared back, also unmoving, still waiting for Mello to make a point.

“You’re not better than me.” Mello finally announced.

“Never said I was.” Near grunted softly.

“I’m not better than you.” Mello added.

“No.” Mello chuckled against Near’s cheek.

“Guess that was never an issue, huh?”

“Not for you.”

“Was it for you?” Mello asked in a gentle whisper and Near merely raised an eyebrow.

“You are more capable than me.”

“Your mind—”

“Not our minds, our bodies. I can only do so much before…” He trailed off, but Mello knew what he meant. Who knew that ten days in a box and a few years of abuse could do so much to someone?

“I’ll stay. I’ll help you if you help me.” Mello offered and Near smiled, going back in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally finished purely because I didn't want to study for finals. Figures. Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry it took so long!


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